listening to her voice
It’s August 24th - 7:30pm. I’m in Seattle at Highway 99 Blues Club and I’ve got an orange juice and Malibu rum on the way. The Story Workshop kicked my ass. This band kicks ass too. There’s a white couple dancing on the dance floor to the right of me. They’re wearing smiles. I have pink ear plugs in and my black flip-flopped feet are soaking from the Seattle rain. I love it. I love this.
My wild little girl heart walked the streets of Seattle today, Starbucks hot chocolate and red umbrella in hand. I talked with two men on the street - Wayne and Victor. I gave Wayne ten dollars for a chicken sandwich. Originally, he wanted my umbrella. Victor was on a bike and told me how much he loves the rain. I found an indoor carousel and now am in a blues club.
I’m not sure how safe the streets will be at night when I leave this place and I’m not sure how late I’ll get back to my hotel. Right now, I don’t care. Tonight, I will not betray that little girl. I feel at peace. At home in my skin.
I just breathed in deeply and exhaled fast. This is how my life is meant to be lived. As a sweet, glorious wanderer.
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There is an old man rubbing my shoulders right now who wants to dance with me. Seattle dancing. I think he’s drunk. I’m going to do it.
I just danced to two songs with Tom. He’s wearing red plaid and has a white beard. Tom has a friendly face and spun me around and around. I’m out of breath. I love that he asked me to dance. I love that I said yes.
Now for ribs, texas garlic toast, collard greens, and baked beans. Thank you, Jesus. Thank you, wild child Heather. Oh, how glorious the resurrection life.
This guy is singing “I want to make sweet love to you tonight.” The dude sitting in front of me who was dancing with his wife earlier just put his arm around her and scooted closer. I can’t help but laugh and smile inside. My prayer is that they are gloriously blessed in their love making.
Hm… suspect. The man in front of me doesn’t have a wedding ring on. And I wonder why.
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I just danced again with Tom. He told me that I’m a beautiful girl.
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Joe and Benitio from the band just came up to me separately. Everyone wants to know what I’m writing. I can’t help but smile inside. Joe invited me out back with him while he smokes a cigarette. I don’t trust his face. Or his eyes. I turned him down. Ha. I’m smiling again. This time on the outside.
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It’s August 25th - 12pm. I’m sitting on American Airlines flight 1414 between two men. This flight is 4 hours long. I want to return to last night.
When I was getting ready to leave, Tom stopped me at the bar. He was sitting down and had a beer in his hand. He offered to buy me one, but I thanked him and told him that I don’t like beer. He laughed and said gruffly that that then, would be a waste of his money.
I stood at that bar and talked with Tom for at least 20 minutes. We talked about Jesus and sin, heaven and hell, how religion is bullshit, how he is an atheist, doesn’t have children, that I’m a missionary, that Jesus would be hanging out in a bar and not in a church if he were here, and how Tom didn’t think he sinned that day because he didn’t break the 10 commandments. He specifically chose to proclaim that he hadn’t jacked off or fornicated and so he was good.
I told him that the beer in his hand was proof that God loved him. He rejoiced over that, asked me if he could buy me a bottle of water, and placed his hand on my head and told me that Jesus loved me. I told him that Jesus loved him too and that he was a delight to talk to. I asked if I could pray for him about anything - twice - with an “Are you sure?” and he said “No, no.” If anything, he’d like to be in a sleeping bag next to me, but he didn’t think that was possible. I agreed with him and he asked if he could kiss my cheek. I extended my hand and told him he could kiss it. He said that he wanted to kiss my cheek and I told him that I had a hand-kissing only policy. So, Tom kissed my hand.
He told me again that Jesus loved me. I told him again that he was a delight.
On my way out of the bar and into the parking lot, I ran into the dancing couple. They were a few feet in front of me and I yelled out “Excuse me!” I asked them if this was a safe part of town to walk in at 9 at night and they asked me where I was going. “Mars Hill Graduate School,” I said.
The woman said, “Oh yeah, you should be just fine.” The gentleman said the same and I told them that I was going to Elliot St.
Just then, the woman said, “Oh, I’ll take you. Just close your eyes while I kiss my boyfriend goodbye!” We all laughed, walked closer to their cars, and I turned around. They laughed and kissed, I’m sure, and upon getting into his car, the gentleman told me that she would take care of me.
I got into the woman’s car and learned that her name was Tawny. She had the most gorgeous, toothy smile I’ve seen in a long time. Her eyes were warm and alive and her white hair was cut in a short bob.
We got to Mars and I told her I’d call a cab from there. She looked around for about a half a second and said “Oh honey, I’m not going to leave you here! There’s no one here. Where is your hotel? I’ll take you there.”
So Tawny and I set out on a half mile adventure to find The Seattle Pacific. I learned that she was a flight attendant on Alaskan Airways and that she had been up since 4am. The road divider on Aurora ensured that we spent more time together while we figured out which back alley would get me to my hotel.
I told her that I was a missionary and was at The Story Workshop at Mars. She thought the workshop sounded cool but didn’t quite seem to know what to make of the missionary title.
We finally found The Seattle Pacific and I blessed her twice and thanked her even more.
I took the elevator up to my room and found that my room key was deactivated. I always manage to get those things up against my cell phone. I elevatored back down to the front desk and was met with disgust by my problem, but ultimately, helped.
Back in the elevator, I shared 20 seconds with an Asian family. I wanted so badly to speak Mandarin to them, but just couldn’t figure out if they were Chinese. I chose to smile a lot instead.
On entering my room, I fell back on my bed and let my legs fly up in the air and come back down. I breathed deep and exhaled, smiling.
What a wild, wonderful day.
What a wild, wonderful heart.
What a wild, wonderful God.
